Velvet Elvis
2009-09-12 02:06:24 UTC
Church altar smites devout Catholic
Austrian crushed after popping in to thank God
A devout Catholic who popped into church to thank God for a his rescue from a
lift was crushed to death by a 860lb stone altar, the Telegraph reports.
Police spokesman Roman Hahslinger explained that Gunther Link, 45, was "a very
religious man and had been scared when he was trapped in the lift and had
prayed for release".
He continued: "A short while later he was pulled out of the elevator and he
went straight to the church to thank God."
Link was reported missing by his cousin, and found the next day by
parishioners going to Mass at the Weinhaus Church in Vienna.
Hahslinger concluded: "He seems to have embraced a stone pillar on which the
stone altar was perched and it fell on him, killing him instantly. We have
found his fingerprints on the pillar. We are now investigating the case
further."
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/10/devout_catholic/
Christianity:
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you
live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and
telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master,
so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is
present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced
by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
Austrian crushed after popping in to thank God
A devout Catholic who popped into church to thank God for a his rescue from a
lift was crushed to death by a 860lb stone altar, the Telegraph reports.
Police spokesman Roman Hahslinger explained that Gunther Link, 45, was "a very
religious man and had been scared when he was trapped in the lift and had
prayed for release".
He continued: "A short while later he was pulled out of the elevator and he
went straight to the church to thank God."
Link was reported missing by his cousin, and found the next day by
parishioners going to Mass at the Weinhaus Church in Vienna.
Hahslinger concluded: "He seems to have embraced a stone pillar on which the
stone altar was perched and it fell on him, killing him instantly. We have
found his fingerprints on the pillar. We are now investigating the case
further."
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/10/devout_catholic/
Christianity:
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you
live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and
telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master,
so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is
present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced
by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
