Post by yjk<?>---said;
“We are most alive when we’re in love.”
by far...
I used to try and categorize 'experiences' in life...rating them.
Glory, achievment, winning, losing, failure, success...sex, new play
toys...even rated sensory stuff like eating [and I said sex, ha].
Each of us has our individual circumstances by which we experience
these general headings of experiences in life [hopefully we all get a
taste of all of it in some small or large way]. By my own measure
however, I found that by FAR...at the top of the list, was this thing
we call LOVE [that experience].
I found there were several 'degrees' of love too [by my categorizing
anyway]. I love different OBJECTS by varying degrees...thusly, I
loved my dog DIFFERENT than how I loved my girlfriend etc. Each
OBJECT had a certain potential to it, by which I could muster this
thing we call love. I assessed that that potential itself was some
sort of 'virtue' found in the object [again by my assessment...ha
remember that Sir Fred thinks I'm very FOLKish, hehe]. Virtue is a
hard thing to pin down of course...but I came up with my own
definition of anything that is either GOOD or STRONG...or some
combination of either, by which VALUE is created [true redemptive
worth..at least by how I experienced it].
Where I'm going with all this is that somewhere along the way, I
entertained the notion of GOD...and I found a new level of LOVE in me
that was IMMENSE...free...negating the need for any object. Or
better, I channeled all objects then through this one GRAND OBJECT [in
my mind]...through God..which opened up the spigots of emotional
outpouring [my cup truely did runneth over as it were].
Love of God even outdistanced the very intense emotional content for
my girlfriend [would be wife] etc...not that it diminished it, but
only that it FREED it up. She, and all other objects of virtue, were
like 'matches' and I the tender, upon which, once the fire was lit,
GOD [the object mind you] became like an unending renewable FUEL; a
reservoir of potential by which LOVE virtually exploded in me. I was
learning in fact, how to turn it on and off 'by will'...but I got old
I'm afraid, ha..and disallusioned somewhat.
So, yes..by all means, we are most alive when in love...in all ways,
in any way..but most profoundly if we can find that love as channeled
through GOD. Some have argued that THIS is in fact God's essence
expressing itself in us [I'm not a theologian, so I can't say]. I
only know, that while EXPERIENCING this state, I was complete,
whole...totally happy, content, fullfilled...everything life has to
offer. Unfortunately, the moments I found to be temporary. The
vessels we are I think are developing and as of yet, cannot sustain
the experience for long. But...there are residuals I found...as
anyone who has ever experienced LOVE in their lives, they find they
are more human, more compassionate, more kind, more...well...more of
all the virtues even in a sobered state [perhaps the basis of civility
even, hard to say]?
I've gotten old now [60]...and my heart grows weary I'm afraid. My
biggest disappointment in life is not being able to communicate any of
this to anyone. It's not religious per se...I'm not into scripture
[except as general wisdom perhaps]. I 'awoke' here and have been
trying to figure it out all these years...and this is the best I have
come up with. It would have been nice to have shared this with
someone or others. And I KNOW they would have appreciated the
experience as much as I have. It is quite profound. We all have egos
though, ha. I think we all would like to be GOD [subliminally]...and
everyone wants to capture the next guy that they 'support' their
realities, their experiences. but I think the very concept is all
wrong as to BEING GOD; for GOD has no object [as I see it]. In fact,
I suppose it would be just as correct to say that God was NOTHING.
That sounds paradoxical of course...hard to explain well. But LOVE is
the reality...the treasure upon which GOD [a word in our brains] that
conjures up the STATE. Ah...but there you go; what then IS LOVE?
Brain chemistry? Or something else? It is surely energy. But then,
what is energy. See...the questions just go on and on...
No one ever listened to me of course...and I suppose I'll just go on
and die never having shared this. People want IDOLS...something real
and tangible in a God or gods. They want personal power. I never
found much power through God...but I do think I found a kind of 'self
control'. But that has left me a member of NO camp...
ah well...as Sir Fred says..we are all insane in our own way, ha. But
I'm telling ya'...this was 'good'; something worth the while. If only
I could have packaged it some way...to give it away as some material
thing or object...But then...well, we've heard GOD stories all our
lives...and probably don't need any more of that. There are seven
billion of us now...each of us unique; each of us having ego and
wanting our own place in the cosmos. I'm no different. But this...I
dunno. It was something to share...something GOOD. I just never
could get through.
But...I see many experience it however they can; through organized
religion, with pretty girls, hunky guys [for the girls], even with
loyal dogs...LOL. I've seen it in majestic art [like the PIETA], in
pledges to symbolic flags [as the USA flag did for so many once back
in the day], I've seen it in the object of new born babes, freshly
innocent and with ready promise of hope in a new generation and day.
I've even seen it in 'perfect' performances...like Nadia Comaneci,
Torvil and Dean skating to BOLERO, certain romantic musical
compositions like Beethoven's 9th...ha...but I perhaps get into
'personal tastes' here too. The point is that we strive for
betterment and when we reach upon certain plateaus, we
find...well...moments that sustain the rest of it.
So, yes..."by far"...we are most alive when we are in love [in
whatever fashion we can find]. One clue perhaps I've found to find
this magic inside us, is that more I've strived to BE virtuous myself,
the more I've been able to find virtue in my surroundings...and that
is the spark that strikes the match that lights the fire...