For Old Man Joe

St. Jackanapes

2009-02-12 14:45:54 UTC

Archie a Toasty Aussie, obviously well broiled by now, spake thusly
while choking up great quantities of smoke from his lungs...

Post by Ãrchie
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by
other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of
yours.
9 - You feel insulted and ?dehumanized? when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the ?atrocities? attributed to
Allah, but you don?t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in ?Exodus? and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in ?Joshua? including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen
sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the
exception of those who share your beliefs ? though excluding those in all
rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet
consider your religion the most ?tolerant? and ?loving.?
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have
failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor
speaking in ?tongues? may be all the evidence you need to ?prove?
Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a ?high success rate? when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
I Am Your God
http://iamyourgod.wordpress.com

You forgot the bit about why Old pervert Joe spends practically all of
his waking hours of his days and nights posting his delusional rants in
a.f.j.c. instead of spending his time helping others as Christ had shown
future Christians how it was done 200 years ago - Did Jesus mock?

Did Jesus lie about science or knowledge?
Did Jesus act like a buffoon and a baboon in public?
Did the Christ slander? Did he spew disrespect the works or creations of
people who thought differently?
Did the Christ, who would soon give his life to save all humanity strut
about loudly honking his own horn like a town-proud goose, letting all
know just how big, loud and smug he was because he felt better than
those who did not see the world the same as he did?

I've read the bible, both the Old & New bits many many times, and I sure
do *not* remember Jesus the Messiah, Son of God, Son of Man, Kind of
Kings, etc., ever acting like I've seen Old'N'Noisy'No-Nothing Showoff
Joe behave these past few years. Somehow I guess that Joe Rooster spends
more time watching the Discovery Channel so he can write things down and
come in here and show just how intellectually vacant, naive, clueless,
and just plain stupid a person can be in this day and age with so much
higher learning right at the common man's fingertips & cable remote -
but here he is - Joe Rooster - Cock-a-doodle-dooing his fool head off
yet not making any sound but the sound of a desperately lonely man with
a really big personality problem that he's trying to cover up with all
of this atheist/Darwin bashing.

A guy as obsessed with the same thing over and over and over again is
trying to put some other obsession *out* of his mind - some sort of
obsession that finds maybe troublesome? Maybe something deep that he
tries to keep hidden and locked away way down deep in the place where he
fears to go. Why? Because if he spends too much time thinking about this
obsession it may come back alive - It may try and take over Holy Joe's
life again like it did for many lost years before Joe found Jesus and
the great lie of creationism.

Joe's former life used to be an even greater greater lie - a huge lie -
Joe Rooster thinks that he needs to try and make up really big to Jesus
for his former obsession. But he secretly hopes that Jesus hasn't
noticed that big dark stain on his soul for the deeds he used to do in
the dark of night.

Joe's trying to use Jesus to stop his sick obsessions - trading one for
another - and Joe thinks that if he also bashed what Joe has in his
delusions perceived to be the enemies of Jesus - scientists - despite
the fact that most scientists are Christians themselves - including
evolutionary scientists.

Joe has a sickness that we all see too often in the news today. I hope
that he can overcome his sick compulsions that torment him. But Joe
needs to go down to the Christian bookstore and buy at least the New
testament - I know that Joe doesn't own his own bible. Next Joe needs to
find someone willing to sit with you when you try and read the bible -
make that someone an *adult* Joe. They will be very helpful with those
troublesome big words.

When you finally read the NT, you may be very surprised, Joe - Jesus was
sent here to help troubled people like yourself - and what Jesus saw as
part of his mission on Earth was to spent his short time here not
causing hatred, starting fights, and spewing hatred for things he did
not understand, as you do, but to spend his short 32 years helping the
poor, the needy, the starving, the hurt, and the very sick - the very
same people that Jesus ministered to are suffering still today - and
guess who are working their days and nights away trying to better those
lives and heal those sick and dying souls - it sure ain't Joe the Joke -
It's those same scientists that Joe would spit on if he were smart
enough to recognize one on the street.

You are a blow hard, Joe - everyone in the world is laughing at you
except two people - one is you - too dumb to realize just how dumb you
really are - that other person? You should be able to figure that out,
Joe - He's crying over you right now.