Pious Paul
2010-06-29 23:42:22 UTC
There's an honored tradition (from Sampson and Delilah cinema) of
paying to watch God's wrath take out heathen idols. Thus, we ought
not to be frightened when confronted with Divine intervention in real
life: Witness the meteorological destruction of the Touchdown Jesus
statue in Monroe, OH, just off I-75.
Here are recent pix from a site dedicated and in fact named after the
roadside attraction. The piquant parts are the pictures' captions:
o Blog. _Jeeebus a.k.a Big Butter Jesus_. 28 June 2010
<http://jeeebus.wordpress.com/>.
Post. Brett Anderson. The Way I See It. 28 June 2010
<http://brettlive.com/2006/09/26/big-butter-jesus-lyrics/>.
Web wags have exhibited universal forbearance by refraining from
attributing loss of the statue to natural causes, reflecting near
unanimity in society at large that it was fated for ruination. My
brother quotes a retired Ohio fireman saying firefighters of Monroe
will have to live with their decision to try to extinguish the fire
not only for the rest of their natural lives but also throughout
eternity. However, hope springs eternal. Church elders interpret
this sign as a mandate to do better:
"[Co-pastor Rev. Darlene] Bishop said church leaders would rebuild the
statue, possibly bigger, and definitely fireproof. The amphitheater,
statue and surrounding area had lightning resisters and grounding rods
to dispense lightning into the ground, but for some reason they did
not work, said Monroe Fire Chief Mark Neu."
o Wilson, Denise, and Lauren Pack. "Rebuilt Jesus Statue Will Be
Fireproof, Pastor Says." _Dayton Daily News_ 16 June 2010. 28 June
2010
<http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/dayton-news/rebuilt-jesus-statue-will-be-fireproof-pastor-says-763039.html?viewAsSinglePage=true>.
paying to watch God's wrath take out heathen idols. Thus, we ought
not to be frightened when confronted with Divine intervention in real
life: Witness the meteorological destruction of the Touchdown Jesus
statue in Monroe, OH, just off I-75.
Here are recent pix from a site dedicated and in fact named after the
roadside attraction. The piquant parts are the pictures' captions:
o Blog. _Jeeebus a.k.a Big Butter Jesus_. 28 June 2010
<http://jeeebus.wordpress.com/>.
Big Butter Jesus
In southern Ohio, just north of Cincinnati
I beheld a vision, next to the expressway.
Was a 60 foot Jesus, with his hands in the air
looks like he's carved out of butter,
just like at the state fair.
Well you see him from the chest up
like he's about to do a back flip,
like he scored a touchdown,
or maybe melting or about to drown.
Well I've been to the state fair
seen a cow made out of corn cobs,
Garth Brooks made of string cheese,
and the virgin out of olives.
Shipped in pieces on a flatbed
staring backwards was his big head.
Driver stuck in traffic backups
desperately avoiding eye contact.
Well don't make no graven images.
That's one of the 10 commandments.
I hope the grading curve is kindly.
You get to heaven with a 90.
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Can't believe it's not Jesus,
Oh spread the word.
The lyricist has appended a new verse and chorus, updating the song toIn southern Ohio, just north of Cincinnati
I beheld a vision, next to the expressway.
Was a 60 foot Jesus, with his hands in the air
looks like he's carved out of butter,
just like at the state fair.
Well you see him from the chest up
like he's about to do a back flip,
like he scored a touchdown,
or maybe melting or about to drown.
Well I've been to the state fair
seen a cow made out of corn cobs,
Garth Brooks made of string cheese,
and the virgin out of olives.
Shipped in pieces on a flatbed
staring backwards was his big head.
Driver stuck in traffic backups
desperately avoiding eye contact.
Well don't make no graven images.
That's one of the 10 commandments.
I hope the grading curve is kindly.
You get to heaven with a 90.
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Can't believe it's not Jesus,
Oh spread the word.
One night Big Butter
got hit by lightning.
It burned to the frame wire
like a giant grease fire.
Some blamed it on Satan,
and boy, that would be frightening,
But I thought it was Jesus' father
who was in charge of lightning.
Extra crispy Jesus,
Flaming shot Jesus
Fireball Jesus
Opa Jesus
Charbroiled marshmallow Jesus
Bananas foster Jesus
I'm put out it's not Jesus
Charcoaly lord
o Banks, Heywood, lyr. "Big Butter Jesus Lyrics (Updated)."got hit by lightning.
It burned to the frame wire
like a giant grease fire.
Some blamed it on Satan,
and boy, that would be frightening,
But I thought it was Jesus' father
who was in charge of lightning.
Extra crispy Jesus,
Flaming shot Jesus
Fireball Jesus
Opa Jesus
Charbroiled marshmallow Jesus
Bananas foster Jesus
I'm put out it's not Jesus
Charcoaly lord
Post. Brett Anderson. The Way I See It. 28 June 2010
<http://brettlive.com/2006/09/26/big-butter-jesus-lyrics/>.
Web wags have exhibited universal forbearance by refraining from
attributing loss of the statue to natural causes, reflecting near
unanimity in society at large that it was fated for ruination. My
brother quotes a retired Ohio fireman saying firefighters of Monroe
will have to live with their decision to try to extinguish the fire
not only for the rest of their natural lives but also throughout
eternity. However, hope springs eternal. Church elders interpret
this sign as a mandate to do better:
"[Co-pastor Rev. Darlene] Bishop said church leaders would rebuild the
statue, possibly bigger, and definitely fireproof. The amphitheater,
statue and surrounding area had lightning resisters and grounding rods
to dispense lightning into the ground, but for some reason they did
not work, said Monroe Fire Chief Mark Neu."
o Wilson, Denise, and Lauren Pack. "Rebuilt Jesus Statue Will Be
Fireproof, Pastor Says." _Dayton Daily News_ 16 June 2010. 28 June
2010
<http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/dayton-news/rebuilt-jesus-statue-will-be-fireproof-pastor-says-763039.html?viewAsSinglePage=true>.